


Quiet Contemplations

by shadowsamurai



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-13
Updated: 2012-06-13
Packaged: 2017-11-07 16:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/433042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his solitude, Obi-Wan thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quiet Contemplations

**Author's Note:**

> Set not long after Revenge of the Sith.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW

In his solitary confinement, Obi-Wan Kenobi alternates between meditating, playing the 'what if' game, and trying to absolve his feelings of guilt. He's certain Master Yoda would be most upset with his almost non-existent progress after so many months, but then again, Obi-Wan is certain Yoda is having just as difficult a time adjusting as he is. He may be isolated on Tatooine, but he certainly wasn't alone; his thoughts keep him company all hours of the day and night.

*What if Anakin had been found earlier? Would he still have turned into a monster?*

Obi-Wan feels guilty for not being able to save Padmé, for having to separate her babies. He vows never to let any harm come to Luke.

*What if Anakin had been trained by Qui-Gon? Would he still have turned into a monster?*

Obi-Wan feels guilty for not being able to save Qui-Gon, for failing him with regards to Anakin. He vows to make it up to his mentor any way he can.

*What if Anakin had never become a Jedi at all? Would he still have turned into a monster?*

Obi-Wan feels guilty for leaving his former Padawan, his friend, his brother, to die. But he thinks it was the only way to save them all. He thinks.

*What if Anakin hadn't left Padmé? Would he still have turned into a monster?*

Obi-Wan feels guilty for being alive when so many other Jedi are dead, Mace Windu and Qui-Gon Jinn amongst them. Their absence in the universe is all the motivation he needs to study as hard as he can.

*What if Anakin hadn't turned to Palpatine for guidance? Would he still have turned into a monster?*

Obi-Wan feels guilty for feeling guilty, for forming such an attachment to people: for having those he could call loved ones. It might have been a short list, but it was still a list, and now everyone on it was dead.

*What if Anakin had never been born? Without a body, can the soul turn into a monster?*

Obi-Wan feels a hand on his shoulder, fingers on his face, a ghost of a touch, and Qui-Gon's words echo in his ears. *'He is the chosen one.'* Did his Master know what that meant? Or had Qui-Gon been as swept away with misperception as the rest of them? Because when Obi-Wan stops to think about it, he wonders how they ever managed to misinterpret the prophecy. Of course the chosen one would be evil - how long had the Jedi enjoyed solitary rule of galaxy, not having to worry about the Sith? But even now, the Force was not in balance. Too many Jedi had died. Which leads Obi-Wan to contemplate the following: was Anakin the chosen one at all? Had Qui-Gon been wrong?

*'He is the chosen one'.*

Obi-Wan bows his head. Qui-Gon had been right; he just didn't know what Anakin had been chosen for, or to do.

*'You can save him.'*

Obi-Wan looks up. He can hear his former Master's voice, but he can't see him.

*'There's still good in him.'*

Obi-Wan isn't sure whose death he feels more keenly, Qui-Gon's or Padmé. And once again, he can't help thinking, 'What if…?' Only this time, he's wondering if she was right, and if Anakin still does have some good in him. If he's alive.

*'Sorry, Master.'

'You're the closest thing I have to a father.'

'I hate you!'

'Save me.'*

Obi-Wan closes his eyes, two solitary tears leaking from the corners. He can hear Anakin's voice as though the man was next to him. Only he isn't Anakin any more; only Darth Vadar remains. But Obi-Wan isn't sure. Somewhere in a dark corner of his mind, he can hear Anakin pleading with him through the Force. But Obi-Wan knows saving Anakin is either impossible now, or a long way off.

*What if Anakin is still inside Darth Vadar? Can the Jedi destroy the monster?*

Obi-Wan now feels guilty for harbouring such doubt, and with a determined expression, bends his mind to the task Yoda has set before him. He has no more time for 'what ifs' or guilt. He only has time now to plan for the future, in hopes of repairing the damage of the past.

FIN


End file.
